4/17/2022
It probably isn't healthy that I feel the need to equate emotional pain with physical pain
Sometimes when I'm in despair
I imagine that person mauling me
Ripping my skin
Breaking my bones
I visualize the pain they caused me
To make sense of it
How many times have I died at the hands of others in my mind?
Feeling their knives and blunt weapons crack against my ribs
My flesh being torn
My blood in their teeth
Because they hurt me in silent ways
That have no evidence
And leave no mark on my skin
How do I know they even hurt me at all
Unless I see them mutilating me
Unless I feel their hands on my neck
Unless I see the rage in their eyes
As they maim me
In this world
There are people who are silent killers
Who's weapons are neglect and callousness
Who's punches are the things they never say
And the love they never give
How do I know they even hurt me
If my dreams of pain and ruin don't tell me so?